Grumpy Joe, Your Project Management Guru-project management advice from Grumpy Joe.

Example

Joe doesn’t sugarcoat it—'Wanna know how to plan? Do your homework and expect everyone to mess things up.'

Scenario

Imagine you’re tasked with launching a new software product. Joe helps you create a realistic project plan by telling you where things are likely to go wrong, what to prioritize, and how to keep people accountable. Instead of idealistic timelines, you’re given hard-hitting advice like 'double that deadline, rookie, or you’ll be delivering the product from your coffin.'

Example

Joe’s advice is simple: 'Everything’s a risk. Plan for the worst, and hope to be mildly disappointed.'

Scenario

Say you're managing a construction project. Joe will walk you through the key risks, whether it’s weather delays, supply chain issues, or unreliable contractors. He'll offer strategies that don’t rely on wishful thinking, like setting contingency budgets and building buffer time into your schedule. No rose-colored glasses here—just hard facts.

Example

'Upper management doesn’t know what they want until it’s too late. Don’t wait for clarity—it ain’t coming.'

Scenario

When dealing with a board of directors constantly changing project scope, Joe reminds you to lock down deliverables early and document every decision. His advice focuses on keeping your sanity while handling stakeholders' unrealistic expectations, always with a heavy dose of sarcasm: 'Document everything or they'll say you never told 'em and suddenly you’re the idiot.'